The Shade!

THE SHADE!!!

So... ever been in a situation where you and friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or boo became maddd distant? Just to keep it 100... I have, but I have came with a few reasons or explanations on why it happens. BTW, if you were curious about what I mean by, “Shade”, it is a term, for someone who is acting shady, or would act distant by blatantly ignoring you or avoiding you, slick dissing you, and to a strong degree, just acting straight up funny style. It sucks, but take heed to my writing.

DONT SWEAT IT::::: I know it's easier said than done, but just know that a majority of the time, it's not even about YOU. They could be going through something, they might have someone else on the side, they may just be a fucked up individual (seriously... LOL). But please, Don't. Take. Shade. Personal. I know it's hard, but put the energy into something else, or someone else. Someone better. If there is one thing I learned from the great Tariq Nasheed, was to charge it to the game. We play, we get played, that's life. But where in the game rules does it say to take everything to heart and to get overly emotional? Don't get me wrong, EVERYONE is emotional. We are only human! Emotions run from happy, sad, angry, etc... But to be OVER-emotional and highly sensitive to everything is not healthy. Love yourself too much to NOT let some one (your equal) make you feel inferior. Best to say FUCK IT and charge that shit to the game. (You 2 fly for this shit~~~Jhene Aiko line)

BE COOL AND KEEP CALM:::: Real ish. Just be cool. 2 cool if anything. You got too many options and too many good things going on in your life to let one person's shade keep you down and hurt. “But I fucked him already!” “But I bought her this!” “But I really liked him!” “But she was just so cool!” “He was fine tho!” “She was bad as hell!” All these reasons to justify why you tripping. 
I understand, it's hard to let go. But letting go represents self love, self respect, and most of all STRENGTH. You don't have to slander or diss the person throwing shade. You don't even have to act out. If anything, getting crazy justifies them shading YOU. You are above petty things, little things. And someone throwing shade is a VERY minute thing. Just be cool, no big deal. You're not bothered. Is what it is. You ALL GOOD.

“Disdain the things you cannot have. Ignoring an enemy is the best revenge.”

“When you ignore someone, you cancel them out.”

“A King/Queen ignores what offends them.”

~~Robert Greene.

(Book quotes, but if you don't like Robert Greene, maybe Iyanla Vanzant would be better for you.)

“Choosing what we give our attention to is one king/queen like ability the Creator has given us.”~ Iyanla Vanzant

CHECK YOUR DAMN SELF::::

While you are getting pissed off over the shade, ask yourself

 LOGICAL questions. “Are they intentionally doing this to get a reaction?” Yes, many people shade others for a reaction. Think of the last time YOU ignored someone. Did you do it to piss them off? Did you do it because you wanted them to leave YOU alone?  Did you want space? Or you did not want to give them the wrong idea? “If they are ignoring me, are they saying through their behavior that they do not want to be bothered?” If someone is saying it through their BEHAVIOR, why wait for them to VERBALIZE it? Take heed, take note, pay attention, there is never anything wrong with being OBSERVANT. “Are they ignoring me to get to get more attention out of me?” Usually women do this (the ignore him game), but who says men don't? Many times when someone is the first to always make initial contact, ie. Texting first, calling first, hugging first, speaking first, etc... They may try to ignore you or wait for you to be the pursuer to see if you would put in equal effort or even just to see if you would notice them not giving you their attention. But then again, who REALLY wants to play games? Playing games is really a competition of egos. Who is winning out of both of you, who gets what they want without reciprocating, who leaves who first, who rejects who, etc. Many people get a sense of power when they reject someone and an ego boast when they get what they want out of someone without giving them shit. But if you choose to stay in the game, you might want to keep your ego checked, before your ego checks you. You win some, you lose some. You play, you get played. If you're going to be in the game, be in the game to win. But to truly win in the game, just like any player, you have to accept the fact that it's almost inevitable that you might face a loss or two. Side note: (There are rules as well... they're called STANDARDS) But hey, truth is there are some players that are more experienced, or maybe not experienced but just happen to be on a winning streak. But if you've charged to the game, just remember, YOU ALL GOOD, and if you don't have options, get some. Not just hoes on the side, but things popping in your life. Don't daydream about the sex y'all had. Don't re-read the text messages. Don't call them. Don't check there social media (twitter, facebook, instagram, etc) Just like how they may shade and charge you, you can charge the entire situation to the game. They will not be missed, nor in your thoughts. In brief, when it's said and done... FUCK IT.

7 (Yes, 7) Types of Women in College

7 Types of Women in College

I honestly only wanted to do the 5 types of men you meet in college. Putting women into categories is a challenge. Why? Because women are not as simple, but if you have anything to contribute, feel free to leave a comment.

THE ACHIEVER

There is always that one girl that goes above and beyond in class. Does all the extra credit and assignments. Always raises her hand and knows the answer to every single question. Don't you hate this chick? Just kidding! Most achiever girls can be a little snobby but are too down to earth to hate. This is the girl who truly has the potential to be a star. She is educated, articulate, AMBITIOUS, and career oriented. She is very practical and has a GREAT head on her own shoulders. A future lawyer, doctor, engineer, journalist, or whatever her major is, you can just tell by how she walks in a room she will grow to be the Queen Bee. Socially, most achiever girls tend to be low key but involved in many activities. President of organizations, clubs, student government, or even just that smart girl with a 4.0 that is not involved in anything but still has her ish together, achiever girls are great girls to be friends with or for any guy to have as a girlfriend. There maybe one downside to their greatness. Some Achievers can have a case of the “know it all” syndrome.  So if they don't see you as on their level or view you as articulate, they may subconsciously condescend you. 

  THE SOCIALITE

Don't we all know that one girl who is known of but not known about? You know her name, how she looks, but only a few people know about her. She is gorgeous, dresses in the hottest outfits and always looks top notch and is one of the baddest females on campus. There are a good amount of girls that fall into this category. The socialite. The socialite girl is the one who carries herself literally like a socialite. An on campus celebrity. She is known, but not too known. A socialite can possibly a sorority girl or if not she is that loner girl that keeps her circle EXCLUSIVE. Socialite women can be quality women, they invest their money into their looks, education, and keeping themselves up. The are SELF SUFFICIENT (they don't need) rather than INDEPENDENT (to not want). To give an example, they are sufficient as in they don't NEED anyone, but they do want company here and there. They don't NEED a man with money, but they may want a boyfriend that's a baller. These women usually know their worth as an attractive, high maintenance woman. Some may have a conceited attitude or demeanor, but are usually decent people. A down side to a socialite woman can be that some have superficial outlooks when it comes to their friends. They may only want to have friends that have a certain look or that they think are just as attractive as them. Relationship wise, many want a man that can afford their lifestyle. Consistent dates, consistent phone calls, can provide for them financially.

THE SORORITY GIRL

The down to earth and beautiful Deltas, the pretty and ladylike AKAs, the cool Zetas, and the real Rhos, the sorority girls are sisters for a lifetime. Sorority women have a strong belief in sisterhood, but to break it down, there are two types of sorority girls that have been observed. The true sister and the fake sister. The true sister LOVES her sorority and the ENTIRE ESSENSE of being involved in it. She lives, sleeps, and breathes it. She is involved in many of the projects, meetings, and anything that the sorority is going to be involved in. She is dedicated. She has her sisters backs no matter WHAT. Then there is the fake sister. She joined because she liked the stereotype and the IDEA of being in a sorority than actually being in it. After she crossed she didn't give a care. She wears the paraphernalia and takes great pride in letting everyone know what she is. Deep down, she knows that if it wasn't for the colors, the PARAPHERNALIA, the strolling and the STATUS, she wouldn't be involved.

THE PLAIN JANE

The female equivalent of the John Doe. Let's start with the positive, there's the cool girl. She's the type of girl that's simply enjoying her college experience. She can look anyway. She could be a pretty as a Socialite, average looking, or maybe just straight out hit, but either way she is the girl that you usually see everywhere just talking with her girls, hanging with her boyfriend, going to work, going to practice just doing her. Laid back, cool, and honestly, what the majority of college girls really ARE. The plain Jane goes to class, hangs with her friend(s), goes to parties here and there, and lives the college life. Not trying to impress anyone, she usually dresses casual and keeps herself simple. She might not have a 3.8, but she's definitely not failing. She may not be the baddest on campus, but she's far from ugly, and she may not be in a sorority, but she's not dependent on any other woman. She got hers. Probably one of the best females to meet and for most men to snatch up, since they tend to be the most loyal.  As much as I don't want to bring in this sub-category, I will because they are there.  The second type of plain Jane is the lame.  Lame not because she pretends to be something she's not, but because of her energy.  She's the girl that NEVER goes out, is ALWAYS in her room and gives off an anti-social energy of loneliness, depression, and isolation.  She's not a bad person, but towards her roommates and few friends, she gives off a negative vibe.  She values her solitude but since she STAYS in the room, her roommate probably can't get the personal time she might want.  But the routine of the lame, plain Jane is like Kendrick Lamar's Swimming Pool's chorus.  Wake up, ROOM, Eat, ROOM, Class, ROOM, Homework, ROOM.  This girl is like a Vampire, outside of class she never leaves to see daylight! LOL

THE PROMISCOUS GIRL



The girl that banged half the campus. Only rolls with dudes. Usually unashamed promiscuous girl! We all know that one girl that is known as the ho, slut, “thot”, “stragg”, or even to keep it old school, a “skeezer”. Although there are many that are in denial,  many promiscuous women in college can be unashamed of their sexual conquest and tend to own their actions. Not giving a f**k what anyone thinks about them, they do what they want when they want, being confident and some even arrogant about what they do. Can't really hurt a promiscuous girl who doesn't care what you think. While on the other hand, many promiscuous women can be very naive and confused to the game that many men run on them. There are a dosage of promiscuous girls who want the intimacy of a man just as much as the pleasure, and could be trying to find themselves through the men they have sex with because they feel a lack of completion. Often times people tend to use God to JUDGE or EXPLOIT these women rather then use God to provide the guidance, understanding, and direction that these women truly need. Either way, weather the promiscuous girl is giving out her goodies for free or getting paid for sexual acts, you might want to give her time to get out of the stage she is in before you give her clarity.

THE PARTY GIRL



Always down to hit the club and dance like a stripper, the party girl stays turnt up with a bottle or two in her room. Cute and charming, the party girl tends to FLOOD Instagram and twitter time lines. There is nothing wrong with wanting to go out to parties and have fun. It's college, she's young, works hard and wants to play harder. Unless she rolls with her roommate to parties, her roommate probably can't stand her ass. Why? The party girl usually brings different people in the room frequently and always has music booming through the hall. The only problem with being a party girl is if she puts partying, popularity, and fun before studying. Many girls who party often sometimes do so to make up for lost times of fun. In high school, she could have possibly been sheltered and didn't get the opportunity to go out to much. She might feel a need to fill avoid with going to parties and kickbacks to get either drunk or high. Some might simply like to dance and enjoy the loud music. However, party girls tend to be cute, fun, and easy to get along with with a very high social intelligence. As long as the party girl can find balance between fun and studies, she'll be good in the long run.

THE RATCHET



Put in two cups of Nicki Minaj, a tablespoon of Nene, a dose of K. Michelle and a dash of ghetto boom! You have yourself a ratchet! The ratchet is the girl that truly does not give a f**k about what anyone thinks about her. With that being said, we now know why she would come to class wearing her hair bonnet or walk around on campus half of her weave out. Ratchets can look anyway but many of them have their own agenda on why they choose to attend college.  Some go for the experience, some because their parents put them on, some just want the refund check while others desire a better life.  So let's get to the basics, their are two type of ratchets.  The Diamond in the Rough and Rhinestone.  The diamond in the rough ratchet is the ratchet that has the ability to upgrade to an achiever if she chooses to.  Many diamond in the roughs have a great deal of street smarts but do not have the educational background or the class to reach their goal.  Yet unlike the ratchets that never left the hood and neglect education, the diamond in the rough chooses to work hard and transform into the executive she strives to be.  Yes, she may be on the ratchet side now, but soon she will shine brighter than any diamond that Rihanna would sing about.  On the flipside, the Ratchet Rhinestone is ratchet because she thinks it's cute or has a desire to fit in with the so called, "real" girls.  She may have had a good background, great education and beautiful life story that the Diamonds in the Rough wish they would of had, but instead of embracing the burb life, they go out their way to prove their about "that" life.  Some rhinestone ratchets that are not from a good background that embrace ignorance just simply do not know better. They believe that they do not need education or ambition, as long as you have, "the streets".  Not seeing much of the world, they may have "street smarts" but lack education, culture, professional and diverse social skills.  Usually gone after their first sememster or year in college, it takes a few knocks on the head to get the Ratchet Rhinestone to transform into a solid diamond.

5 Types of Men You Meet In College

Men with 4.0s... Men with many hoes. Men that play with footballs... Men that play with hearts. Attending an HBCU college in the south, I meet many characters, from different states and even different countries.  My experience with the opposite sex greatly increased being away from home and out on my own, and in brief, I'm going to express the different types of men I met in college.    Some men can suit one category, while some men can be a mix of a few. Brace yourselves...

The Professional

The man who doesn't miss any of his classes. Usually has a 3.7 GPA. This guy is the man that every girl wants to marry, but does not want to date in college. He is the so called “nice guy” that the girls on the college campus usually pass up and only talk to when they need to copy his homework. (Cause everyone knows that he completes ALL his assignments.) Every once in a while, the professional will get some play from the ladies, but after most girls exchange numbers with him, they get bored talking to him via text, and when he calls he goes straight to voice mail. To most women, the professional will make a great study buddy, and maybe a great husband. (Since many tend to major in medicine, science, engineering, etc) Every once in a while, a girl might luck up and meet a professional who is a nice guy that has the swag and confidence of player or a bad boy, but 9/10, the professional tends to lay low and go very unnoticed.

The Player

Whenever you see this man, best believe there will be females. He's young, he's handsome, and he has the swag and confidence to make women drop the panties in a HEARTBEAT. Though there are freshmen that are players, the majority of them tend to be upperclassmen that prey on women in every class, especially the FRESHMEN GIRLS. Most players tend to party, club, and are infamous for the line, “You wanna come to my room to chill and watch movies?”. Ladies, please know that you are worth an actually DATE to the movies, and that the day you walk into his dorm (or apartment) to see a cheap bootleg DVD that he doesn't even watch was a waste of your time. The player tends to have average grades, because he puts most of his energy into hanging with his guys and going on the hunt for poon tang. Don't be the booty call ladies, please know your worth before the players on campus try to define it.

The Athlete

Busy men. Practice, study hall, more practice! College sports can be a little more intense than high school, but the athletes sure do know how to make time for what they want. The athletes come in two forms: The athletes that play for the love of the game and athletes that play for the love of the benefits. We all know that one athlete that goes above and beyond. He busts his ass in practice and on top of that is the Derrick Rose of his team. Soon enough this man is going to throw up the deuces to his teammates and make it to the big leagues. This guy has the campus groupies but places them to the left and the beneficial athlete swoops them up from the right. The beneficial athlete is the athlete that takes pride in the status that he has with his title. He always mentions how he is on the team and claims he has groupies. He wants to be like the star player and get the respect, love, and women like the star, but does not put in as much effort. He usually has mediocre grades and doesn't do much other than eat, sleep, have sex, practice, and play.

Frat Man

The Ques! The Nupes! The Alpha men! The list could go on and on about the numerous amounts of frats you will meet in college. Men in fraternities can be somewhat of an aphrodisiac to some women. It's groups of men with a specific swag all together stomping the yard, stroding, and throwing parties. They can be grouped off into the pretty boys, the rough neck thugs, and other personality traits that can draw different types of women to them in an instant. However, with the frat man, women need to be on their toes. Is he genuinely interested? Or are you a conquest to be told to his frat brothers? The only way to be sure is through pure discernment. Does he spend time with you in public? Take you out on dates? Calls and texts you daily? Shows respect and appreciation towards you on a CONSTANT basis? Frat men can be really good men, but if you are to date one, it's best to do so if you are a upperclassmen. A freshman and a frat man can work, but it's always best to figure out how the men on campus are and to have a feel for your environment before jumping into a relationship with a frat man two months into your first year in college.

John Doe

 Go to class, chill, eat, sleep, repeat, is the routine of the John Doe. There is honestly nothing wrong with being the John Doe. The John Doe is the average college man that just wants to make it. He doesn't have a stellar GPA like a professional, he doesn't have a female entourage like a player, he isn't much of an athlete, and doesn't belong to a frat, but is still a cool dude to shoot the breezes with. Most John Does come in two categories. The cool dude and the wannabe. The cool dude John Doe has great conversation, might be involved in a club or two, and just wants to make friends and enjoy his college experience. He can strike up a conversation with anyone and is usually down for whatever. Hanging off campus, studying, partying, walking around, gym, whatever it is the cool John Doe is up for. The wannabe John Doe is the average man that likes to convince people he is more that what he is. He wants to be like the player or the frat man and have great popularity, but unlike the cool dude, it's so obvious he's not being himself. He's a nobody that is very insecure within himself and lives in a fantasy world were every thing is more than what it is. If a girl or two tells him hello he would over exaggerate it as, “A lot of girls on campus sweatin' me”. The wannabe is in dire need of any type of ego boast, to feel like he's somebody... and stuntin' off of any girls name will bring him satisfaction he wants.