The Shade!

THE SHADE!!!

So... ever been in a situation where you and friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or boo became maddd distant? Just to keep it 100... I have, but I have came with a few reasons or explanations on why it happens. BTW, if you were curious about what I mean by, “Shade”, it is a term, for someone who is acting shady, or would act distant by blatantly ignoring you or avoiding you, slick dissing you, and to a strong degree, just acting straight up funny style. It sucks, but take heed to my writing.

DONT SWEAT IT::::: I know it's easier said than done, but just know that a majority of the time, it's not even about YOU. They could be going through something, they might have someone else on the side, they may just be a fucked up individual (seriously... LOL). But please, Don't. Take. Shade. Personal. I know it's hard, but put the energy into something else, or someone else. Someone better. If there is one thing I learned from the great Tariq Nasheed, was to charge it to the game. We play, we get played, that's life. But where in the game rules does it say to take everything to heart and to get overly emotional? Don't get me wrong, EVERYONE is emotional. We are only human! Emotions run from happy, sad, angry, etc... But to be OVER-emotional and highly sensitive to everything is not healthy. Love yourself too much to NOT let some one (your equal) make you feel inferior. Best to say FUCK IT and charge that shit to the game. (You 2 fly for this shit~~~Jhene Aiko line)

BE COOL AND KEEP CALM:::: Real ish. Just be cool. 2 cool if anything. You got too many options and too many good things going on in your life to let one person's shade keep you down and hurt. “But I fucked him already!” “But I bought her this!” “But I really liked him!” “But she was just so cool!” “He was fine tho!” “She was bad as hell!” All these reasons to justify why you tripping. 
I understand, it's hard to let go. But letting go represents self love, self respect, and most of all STRENGTH. You don't have to slander or diss the person throwing shade. You don't even have to act out. If anything, getting crazy justifies them shading YOU. You are above petty things, little things. And someone throwing shade is a VERY minute thing. Just be cool, no big deal. You're not bothered. Is what it is. You ALL GOOD.

“Disdain the things you cannot have. Ignoring an enemy is the best revenge.”

“When you ignore someone, you cancel them out.”

“A King/Queen ignores what offends them.”

~~Robert Greene.

(Book quotes, but if you don't like Robert Greene, maybe Iyanla Vanzant would be better for you.)

“Choosing what we give our attention to is one king/queen like ability the Creator has given us.”~ Iyanla Vanzant

CHECK YOUR DAMN SELF::::

While you are getting pissed off over the shade, ask yourself

 LOGICAL questions. “Are they intentionally doing this to get a reaction?” Yes, many people shade others for a reaction. Think of the last time YOU ignored someone. Did you do it to piss them off? Did you do it because you wanted them to leave YOU alone?  Did you want space? Or you did not want to give them the wrong idea? “If they are ignoring me, are they saying through their behavior that they do not want to be bothered?” If someone is saying it through their BEHAVIOR, why wait for them to VERBALIZE it? Take heed, take note, pay attention, there is never anything wrong with being OBSERVANT. “Are they ignoring me to get to get more attention out of me?” Usually women do this (the ignore him game), but who says men don't? Many times when someone is the first to always make initial contact, ie. Texting first, calling first, hugging first, speaking first, etc... They may try to ignore you or wait for you to be the pursuer to see if you would put in equal effort or even just to see if you would notice them not giving you their attention. But then again, who REALLY wants to play games? Playing games is really a competition of egos. Who is winning out of both of you, who gets what they want without reciprocating, who leaves who first, who rejects who, etc. Many people get a sense of power when they reject someone and an ego boast when they get what they want out of someone without giving them shit. But if you choose to stay in the game, you might want to keep your ego checked, before your ego checks you. You win some, you lose some. You play, you get played. If you're going to be in the game, be in the game to win. But to truly win in the game, just like any player, you have to accept the fact that it's almost inevitable that you might face a loss or two. Side note: (There are rules as well... they're called STANDARDS) But hey, truth is there are some players that are more experienced, or maybe not experienced but just happen to be on a winning streak. But if you've charged to the game, just remember, YOU ALL GOOD, and if you don't have options, get some. Not just hoes on the side, but things popping in your life. Don't daydream about the sex y'all had. Don't re-read the text messages. Don't call them. Don't check there social media (twitter, facebook, instagram, etc) Just like how they may shade and charge you, you can charge the entire situation to the game. They will not be missed, nor in your thoughts. In brief, when it's said and done... FUCK IT.